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Are You Beginning Your Dating Journey After Breakup Or Divorce? 3 Red Flag To Say Wary Of
Dating a man can be fun, but it can also come with a lot of red flags that you might be ignoring. Here’s a handy list to keep an eye out for.
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Dating in today’s world as a woman can be tough. Swiping through the apps, talking to new people every day, and having to re-introduce yourself, your likes, dislikes, favourite colour, and do this about 200 times till you find someone you vibe with.
The first-date jitters and the time and effort it takes to prepare yourself mentally and get yourself ready, all before you have to travel to the location. Not to forget, the mental gymnastics you have to play to keep yourself safe since you are meeting a stranger while also trying to give your date the benefit of the doubt that he could be a great guy, stay engaged with the conversation, ask thoughtful questions and give witty replies – it is a lot!
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When you are doing all this work after a bad breakup or a tumultuous divorce, it can take the fun out of dating.
And men do not make it easy. Misogyny, patriarchy, alpha men and a loneliness epidemic have reduced the dating pool for a lot of women. So Dena Marizan, a post-divorce dating coach for women who are 40 years and older, shared a detailed list of 3 red flags in a video on Instagram that women might be turning a blind eye to when they begin their dating journey.
She said, “If you’re over 40 and dating after divorce, listen up, because the red flags that get us in trouble usually aren’t the giant flashing ones. They’re the ones we can explain away.”
In the video, she also went on to say, “Ladies, we are over 40. We are not dating a fixer-upper and hoping that he turns into an open concept dream home. Look at what he is showing you today because giving a man a chance is one thing, but talking yourself out of what you can clearly see is another.”
She added, “And after divorce, one of the most powerful things you can learn is to stop needing courtroom-level evidence before you trust yourself and walk away, because the best chapters of your life don’t have to be your first ones.”
Here are the 3 relationship red flags that women should be an eye out if they have just started their dating journey:
Number one: He’s inconsistent, but he always has a really good reason. He disappears for two days, cancels plans, texts like crazy, and then goes silent, and you tell yourself, “He’s busy. He has kids. He has a demanding job.” Maybe, but busy men can still be consistent men.
Number two: You tell him something bothers you, and somehow you end up feeling bad for bringing it up. This one matters. You don’t need a man who agrees with you about everything. Believe me, you don’t want that. But watch what happens when you say, “Hey, I didn’t love that.” Does he listen, or does he get defensive, turn it around on you, make a joke out of it, or suddenly you apologising?
Number three: You’re falling in love with what he could be instead of paying attention to who he is right now. He’ll be amazing once work calms down. He just needs time to open up. He says he wants a relationship eventually.
Key Questions Answered
Ask News18Women can identify subtle red flags in new relationships by looking for inconsistency, such as a partner disappearing for days, cancelling plans, or texting erratically before going silent, especially when they always have a seemingly good reason for their behaviour.
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Original source: https://www.news18.com/lifestyle/relationship/
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